Just Ask Jan and The Dudes


For all you beautiful people,

Dealing with freeways, e-mails, and gadgets you can't get the hang of?

Self esteem below zero because your smart phone is too damn smart?

Parking problems? Dentist bugging you about flossing? Do you awaken up to find something you have been driving, ingesting, or sleeping with has been recalled. Body is damn fed up with pressures of being fit. You think I don't know how stressed you are?

Relax! I'll take care of it and you.

My destiny is to advise, cajole, instruct and nudge aka nagging.

You will realize that after healing and dealing with threads of grief, pain and disappointments, in fact "Not a Shred of Evidence Exists that Life is Serious."

So...why don't you all brighten up and let me and the dudes take care of things. If you have a question that does not require a life saving answer, a loan or shaving your back on a first date, 
write to:
Subject: Just Ask Jan and the Dudes




Dear Jan

For a woman of a certain age, is it possible to find a mate to grow 
old with (or should I just keep rescuing pound puppies)?
Thank you for being there and giving us all advice and laughs,
Deb

Dear Deb,
Pick the one who waits by the door for you to come home from work, lovingly  
jumps up hugs and then licks you all over.  Therefore, always go for the loving, 
supportive guy first!
THE EMMIS: Then the two of you can rescue a puppy together. One 
cannot be a substitute for another.
Jan


***

Dear Jan,

Do you have any quick beauty secrets? I want to submit a picture
to a public site.

           FRANCA BEVEN

My Dear Franca,
MY PERSONAL SECRET: Obviously, make sure the photos you 
display on blogs and web sites are twenty years old. Since everything is relative, 
I found posing with dead scientists and statesmen a boost.
THE EMMIS: A smile - so simple - A SMILE truly connects 
humans. With an actual interest and caring attitude, you will reflect both your and 
their own sense of worth and attractiveness. Try it for a week and let me know. I
also use Oil of Olay.
Jan

***

Dear Jan, 

Have you ever felt guilty?
    
From Louella Glickman

Dear Louella, 
I believe guilt is the most useless emotion. Though anytime I hear that there is 
a drought I think it is because I am retaining all the water.
THE EMMIS: Either do it or do not do it. Guilt serves no purpose
whatsover.
Jan

***

Dear Jan,

Jan what do you think of exercising?

From Francine O'Hara

I am all for it, Francine.
Today I was so encouraged while jogging 'cause I thought I heard applause. 
It turned out it was just my thighs hitting together. So what? I ran 5 blocks on
that bit of encouragement.
THE EMMIS: You already know it. Move more, eat less. I had that backwards.
Jan



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